ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
