after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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