he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
