I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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