Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
