I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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