I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
