Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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