his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
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my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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