I wanna bring you to show and tell
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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