i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's official drugs can't kill me
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
