Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he puts the penis in happiness.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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