Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
