it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
