She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He literally asked permission to hit on me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
