mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize