Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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