i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
