Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
last night I used snow as a chaser
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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