Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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