it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dear god my vagina.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
