I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
