It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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