That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
