If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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