his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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