My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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