I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
