There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
