Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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