My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize