She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i believe in u and ur pee
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
