i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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