Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
