Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
