Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
