The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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