oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize