This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize