I hate your face
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i think im in europe. pls send help
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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