i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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