i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
