do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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