dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
