so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
