She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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