My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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