so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
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It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
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He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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