So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
