I wish I could teleport
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
