Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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