I want to have your abortion
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
this is an emotional support booty call
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
