Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
