this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
