i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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