this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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