ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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