I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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