Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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