My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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