3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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