yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There's always time for handjobs
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
